Your Fear & Feelings Will Set You Free 😀

This idea may seem radical. I understand that not everyone will agree with me.

But I've pulled together science and a few different perspectives to help us unpack it.

I believe that facing the discomfort and sometimes pain of expanding our self-compassion is the key to our happiness, abundance, and greater peace on this planet.

It is evident, both spiritually and psychologically, philosophically and metaphysically, that by avoiding our fears, feelings, and perceived problems, we limit our experience of joy, fulfillment, and meaningful connection.

And I am not alone in believing that self-compassion might be the missing key to your fulfillment and success in this world. Various research suggests that individuals with more self-compassion are more likely to make positive changes in their lives. Science is demonstrating that cultivating kindness is the starting point for a happier and more fulfilling life [1].

Embracing Your Pain and Fear will Lead to Greater Joy, Peace, and Fulfillment

If you're like most people I know, you might initially resist this idea.

After all, who in their right mind would willingly seek out more pain and fear, right?

But let me explain it further and show you how to embrace it in order to live a more fulfilling life.

Spiritually: what we resist persists.

The key to life is accepting, embracing, and loving what is, even if it includes pain and fear.

Yeah, I know it's a bummer 😬 🤣 😁

Philosophically: there is no compassion without suffering.

In order to develop empathy and compassion, we must confront and experience our fears, emotions, and suffering.

We cannot truly establish profound and meaningful connections with others unless we are willing to delve into and understand our own inner suffering.

Psychologically: Pushing away emotions creates barriers to good health.

Denying and avoiding our pain and fear will overtime increase their negative effects in our lives. [2]

Scientifically, it is well proven that experiencing one's emotions is crucial for physical, mental, and emotional health. Suppressing and repressing emotions creates long-term barriers to good health. [3]

But we have been brainwashed into believing the opposite is true.

The mainstream media in the US is driven by corporations pursuing their own profits: earning billions by promoting the notion that we CAN escape pain and fear.

The beauty industry capitalizes on our hesitancy to address our own lack of self-love and self-compassion. It perpetuates the misconception that we can eliminate our insecurities by solely focusing on altering our appearance.

The weight-loss industry profits from the idea that we can get rid of all our pain and fear by just losing weight. The NY Times went so far as to publish: ‘Diet Culture Is Unhealthy. It’s Also Immoral’. [4]

Did you know that in many countries, it is illegal for pharmaceutical companies to advertise prescription drugs? The U.S. and New Zealand are the only countries that allow direct-to-consumer prescription drug advertisements. Research shows that such advertising has been linked to negative effects on rational prescribing, pharmaceutical expenditure, and health outcomes [5].

If you've watched Netflix's 'Painkiller' or Hulu's 'Dopesick', you'll have a glimpse of how extensively the pharmaceutical industry has worked to alter our perception of pain.

Do you allow your feelings, or close them down as much as you can?

Do you feel and then fight that lump in your throat when moments of miraculous love move you to tears? Whether it's the end of movies, weddings, TikToks, or on TV?

Do you give friends and family extra space when they're going through a tough time because you don't want to ‘make them feel worse’ by talking about it?

It’s human nature to avoid pain, suffering and sadness. Hopefully that’s obvious.

But if we want greater connection, compassion and CELEBRATION in our life, I believe, we have to learn how to embrace it.

Rumi says most things best. And embracing pain is no exception:

“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

“The cure for the pain is in the pain.”

Despite Brené Brown's TED Talk on Vulnerability being watched over 62 million times, it appears that we still struggle with the concept of embracing our emotions. Yet, emotional exposure is at the core of vulnerability.

Research clearly indicates that if we desire more connection, intimacy, and courage in our lives, we must be willing to get closer, be more intimate, and have the courage to embrace our own pain and fears.

The habit that changed everything for me

If you’ve been with me for a while this is not going to be new.

But I know you, because I know myself.

If you’re human, you have an opportunity to be kinder and more understanding of your fears and feelings.

And even though the number one thing I share about both in 1on1 client sessions, group events, and on social media is: Feel and Love Your Feelings. The number one thing I do in my every day personal life is STILL to first avoid, then deny, then ok finally… feel and show up for my feelings.

So I guess I’m wanting to say that in some ways, this IS impossible work. It’s truly SUPER-human. And it’s hard.

As humans we ARE wired to run from pain and fear. That shouldn’t be news.

But if we are to evolve and expand into our SUPER-human muscles of Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, and the kind of compassion I believe we need to save this world, we’re all being called to show up for this impossible adventure.

The Habit That Changed Everything for Me

If you've been following me for a while, this information won't be new to you.

And... even though feeling and loving your emotions is the main topic I discuss in one-on-one client sessions, group events, and on social media, I still catch myself avoiding my emotions.

As humans, we are naturally wired to avoid pain and fear. That shouldn't surprise anyone.

However, if we want to grow and tap into our superhuman capacities for unconditional love, forgiveness, and the kind of compassion that I believe is necessary to evolve this world, we are all being called to embark on this seemingly impossible journey.

While this habit may be simple, it's not easy. However, I believe that you are up to the challenge.

Let me give you a quick one-minute overview.

I also encourage you to check out the comprehensive 12-minute read and complete guide: Feeling for Healing: 4-Step for Rewiring

But to summarize:

F. Feel your feelings

E. Embrace your feelings

E. Express your feelings

L. Love your feelings and yourself.

Step 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Let go of your thoughts, analysis, and mental chatter. Relax. Breathe. Shift your focus to your body, where you experience emotions. Simply be curious: what emotions and sensations are you currently experiencing within your physical body?

Step 2. Embrace Your Feelings

Make a conscious choice to accept, welcome, and embrace your feelings. Release any resistance you may have towards your emotions. Say yes to what you're feeling. Try to see them as allies, holding valuable insights for you in your life at this moment.

Step 3. Express Your Feelings

Give your feelings a voice. Allow them to be expressed without censorship. Whether through speaking or writing.

Step 4. Love Your Feelings / Yourself

Love yourself as you would love a young child. Provide yourself with what you need and let go of what you don't. Just as a mother doesn't receive a guidebook on how to love her child when giving birth, you don't need a guidebook either. It may take time, and there will be trial and error... but if you allow yourself to feel your pain, over time you will unlock a pure, unobstructed connection to the unconditionally loving source that you are. With patience and time, you will discover your own unique way of loving yourself back to wholeness and well-being.

Every Thursday, I guide a small group of amazing individuals through a process that I call "Rewiring back to Love." This process involves experiencing our humanity and then connecting with our lifeforce, which ultimately rewires our patterns of fear, flight, and freeze back to our inherent essence, which is Love.

You are welcome to join me in this experience.

Typically, I share some information for about 10 minutes, followed by a 20-minute closed-eye meditation. Afterward, there is an opportunity for Q&A and sharing.

You have the option to participate anonymously or to be seen and engage by asking questions or sharing your own insights and support.

The purpose of my life is to spread self-compassion. It's a continuous journey that transforms my childhood pain into precious gifts and allows me to discover my own greatness in this human existence.

Your presence here, reading my words, being my friend, and providing support in any form truly boosts this mission. So, I sincerely thank you.

And I love you.

Zoë

👋🏼 Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Join us for our Free Rewiring Meditation Every Thursday! Every Thursday we clear karma and rewire our neural pathways together in a LIVE meditation. Join us at 3pm here.
2. Create your own consistent practice of Embracing your emotion for Greater Courage, Compassion and Fulfillment: Learn how here.
3. Work with me in 1on1: I have space for 2 new clients in November. Schedule a chat with me here.