We all have unconscious patterns holding us back from greater experiences of Love & Success. Here's how to rewire them.
I was addicted to boys, and then men, that didn't love me, until I was 33. After learning how to do this, I completely rewired this pattern in about a year, and was married to the best man on the planet for me another year later.
I was bulimic, from the age of 13, in the final year of my Mum's life, as she was slowly dying from cancer. At the 33 I rewired this pattern in a few months, and have not purged since. And more importantly, I eat whatever I want now, AND I am always about 5 pounds around my ideal weight.
And I have always hustled. My Dad left at 3 so I hustled to make my Mum happy, to make sure she wouldn't leave too. Then my Mum died and I hustled to make my teachers and friends love me. And I've been hustling my whole career, trying desperately to get the love and safety I need to survive.
And I'm still working on rewiring this pattern. So that I can actually relax and enjoy the incredible life that I have. And not be always pushing, pressuring and punishing myself to do more.
At 33 when I first started to learn how to rewire, I felt immediate relief. Then 2 years later I was able to stop working for someone else, and I dove into doing what I loved. And now 10 years after that, I can miraculously say that I do enjoy my life. That I feel relaxed at times. And that I do trust I am safe and will be taken care of.
And I am still rewiring this pattern. I am slowly and lovingly rewiring this subtle and unconscious pattern of never feeling like what I have done is enough...back to my essential and natural pattern of knowing I am enough, and I am lovable, no matter how much I hustle or achieve.
At age 33, I began to learn how to rewire my patterns, by taking all the techniques and technologies I was learning in a Master of Spiritual Psychology and applying them to my life 24/7.
I began to find my own way: a clear and concise way to take a pattern that wasn't working for me, and to rewire it back to my natural and authentic neural pathways of innocence and lovability.
A Spiritual Psychology Strategy for Clearing What's Holding Us Back
STRATEGY • Rewiring Patterns: Clearing What's Holding Us Back
Rewiring our patterns through this approach, requires that we be vulnerable and emotionally exposed.
I know, I know. Everything is about mindset right now. We want to conveniently fix our thoughts and our belief system, without actually having to feel anything.
We want to find love, without feeling the heartaches.
We want to be successful, without feeling any disappointment.
We want to know how to be perfect, so we never have to feel not-enough, ashamed, embarassed, imperfect... every again.
In my experience, and I spent 20 years trying to fall in love, and heal my bulimia, without feeling anything.
I was on a spiritual quest for 20 years, trying to figure out exactly how to live my life without addressing the pain of my childhood. I tried meditation. Mindfulness. All kinds of energetic clearing. And more.
But it was NOT until I learned how to allow my emotions to guide me to the unconscious wiring within, that I was able to heal the patterns that plagued me so badly.
For the blindspots in our life: for those patterns that want to shift so badly, but just can't seem to stop doing what we don't want, or can't start doing what we do want, I believe that our emotions offer the missing key for rewiring neurologically because they instantly and most effectively take us into our unconscious where the pattern lives.
It's important to really understand here that for these hard to change patterns: that they are wired in the unconscious, not your conscious mental processes.
This process is for shifting the patterns in your life you just can't seem to change by just getting clear on what you want and doing it.
I was clear for YEARS that I wanted a loving partner. I just couldn't seem to help myself from choosing people that DID NOT LOVE ME.
I was clear for YEARS that I did not want to be throwing up my food. But I could NOT STOP.
Until I was willing to feel the pain that came up for me in my everyday life, and I allowed my emotions to take me into my unconscious.
And this process, once we get over the barrier of NOT wanting to feel our emotions, is surprisingly simply and straight forward. And profoundly effective.
But your mind is gonna want to analyze, and figure it out, and just think your way through this, WITHOUT actually having to let go of the mind, and fall deep into your feelings.
So if you think you're up to the challenge of actually feeling the challenges in your life, really getting messy and allowing your humanness to be felt and expressed, your entire life is about to change...
So first I'm going to lay out the strategy. And then give you a step by step guide for implementing it.
First, identify the biggest unwanted feelings in your life right now. Trust me. Whatever it is will hold the key to what you want most right now.
When I was 33, my biggest unwanted feelings was not feeling seen and loved at work, and by my boss. As I did this rewiring process with those feelings, I was guided to rewire my pattern of unrequited and bulimia.
When I was 35, my biggest unwanted feeling was not loving my job anymore and knowing I was capable of more. As I did this rewiring process with those feelings I had no idea that I would come face to face with a pattern in my unconscious of being terrified of failing and of being persecuted.
And at 36, after diving into my own business and my big bold brave life, my biggest unwanted feelings were panic attacks, that helped me rewire being abandoned over and over again in my childhood.
So where we start, is whatever big unwanted feeling shows up in your every day life. And your mind is going to do everything it can, to tell you that they have nothing to do with what you want most right now (which might be just to feel enough, or to fall in love, or to move forward in some way in your life right now)...but I would bet good money on it.
So we start with feeling what we desperately don't want to feel. It works best to take a moment from the last month or so and be aware of a single time when you felt the most challenged. Or this process works BEST when you're in a really challenging emotional moment.
Let yourself move your focus from the mind: which means your focus will usually be in and up around and outside of your head. Move your focus into the body. What are you feeling in your body? Let yourself feel, inside your body.
Next we come into complete acceptance: a welcome, and embrace, a warm hug for these feelings.
Most of what we THINK we're feeling in life is actually resistance to the raw emotion we are actually authentically needing to feel. So as we begin to let go of our resistance to feeling what is, we clear a lot of negative experiences quite easily in that process.
Next we give that feeling a voice. As if it were a small child, crying to be heard, to be seen, and to be loved just as they are. Not from our head, but deep from within our body we give a voice to our feelings and allow them to express and to say whatever they want to say. I can be most helpful to write this down.
Then we lift back into our Authentic Self: our Love, our clear awareness and we love and honor these feelings, and we ask our feelings what they need, and we give it to them.
There are many advanced methods for loving and honoring these feelings, so that the particular wiring or neural pathways that are running them can be released and rewired. But the heart of rewiring is in simply finding the experience that they need, and then giving that experience to ourselves: either in our imagination, or in some realized experience.
If you didn't know, it's been a well-established Scientific fact for years now that the mind: our neural pathways respond to our imagination, just as well to what happens in 'real life'.
I usually also recommend completing this process with Statements of Self-Forgiveness. I will share those next week. This one key statement is perhaps the best one I have found in terms of effectively changing our patterns and neural pathways.