Let Go of the Fight

Conflicts are not about physical altercations but about differing perspectives and unmet needs for love and understanding. Prioritizing the desire to be loved and heard over the need to be right can surprisingly dissolve conflicts, fostering deeper connections.
Let Go of the Fight

Fenix’ PepTalk

Is it OK to Fight with Family?! 😠

Well it’s important to remember that we only EVER fight with people we love.

Just look at how much Harvey loves me…he needs my attention and love.

This season can bring up some tough feelings, so it’s ok to be honest and share how you feel, even if it’s not pretty! But it’s never a good time to project your inner battle or feelings onto someone else. And it can be hard letting go of feeling shitty inside… without being shitty to your loved ones.

But Mum’s got some help 👇

Love 🐾 #YourHappyCoach, Fenix xoxoxoxo

What We Need When We Fight…

We all have ‘fights’, arguments, disagreements. It’s human. It’s healthy. It’s natural.

I’m not talking about physical fighting. I’m not talking about any kind of physical behavior in anyway. I’m talking about disagreeing with someone that we love. Feeling like we are on different pages when it comes to something that’s important to us.

But what can be so hard to see sometimes in the middle of a ‘fight’, is to see that what you’re really needing right now is love, attention and connection.

We don’t argue unless we have some thing that we don’t feel heard, seen and loved about. We want to feel respected and valued. We don’t actually need the other person to agree with us, we do however need to feel understood and to have our experience honored.

So the one human flaw that seems to hold us back from greater love and connection, is a need that we all have, and that is the need to be right, over the need to be loved and loving.

So the next time you’re in an argument, step away, take some time on your own, and become aware of how you would like to be heard, seen and loved.

If you can focus on what you really need, and let go of the need to be right… you might be surprised how easy any conflict is to bring you closer, not further apart.

I know this is deep. But you’ve got it in you.

A Step by Step Guide

Whenever we’re out of balance emotionally, and PARTICULARLY when we’re not feeling great AND we’re in a fight with someone we love, we need to stop and ask ourselves this one question.

  1. Recognize that you are in a disagreement with someone you care about.
  2. Take a step back and remove yourself from the situation, if possible.
  3. Take a moment to breathe and to feel. Remind yourself it’s ok to feel however you’re feeling. It’s ok to be upset.
  4. Ask yourself, "What do I need right now?"
  5. Identify what you need to feel heard and understood.
  6. Focus on expressing your needs in a clear and respectful way to your partner.
  7. Listen actively to your partner's needs and feelings, and try to understand their perspective.
  8. Remember that the goal is not to win the argument, but to strengthen your connection and understanding with your partner.

From Dr. Zoë

We’re traveling with Escape Campervans this week! We can’t wait to share so much about our trip!!!!!

We’re very honored that Fenix gets to announce some very huge big news for Escape sometime soon. Wow. It’s very good for dogs.

And we’re just so lucky to be able to join him on his adventures, and can’t wait to see where his prancing will take us.

We love you.

Fenix and Zoë 🤗

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About the author
Dr. Zoë & Fenix

Dr. Zoë & Fenix

The ultimate happy coaching combo. Fenix supports humans be their best selves and beyond. Dr. Zoë adds a little science and strategy.

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