Today, I want to share a story about my husband and me.
When we first got together, I was still working for someone else, specifically for my Spiritual Teacher and his organization. Meanwhile, Eric was working for himself as a singer/songrwriter.
In those days, I would wake up early with my alarm around 6:30am to meditate and work on my own projects, while Eric would wake up much later. No I mean MUCH later.
During that period, I dedicated myself to both my job and my side hustles. It was not an innate trait, but rather a result of my conditioning.
However, Eric would meditate at around 10 or 11. Then, at around 11 am or noon, he would happily walk around the house, loudly saying "I love my life!" My reaction to this statement was a mix of anger and fury.
So I am here today to loudly and gleefully exclaim… “I love my life!”
It has taken me 7 years to rewire that part of myself that would get triggered, and this journey is still ongoing. However, because I am no longer pushing, pressuring, and punishing myself to work hard, do more, and be better, I am now able to walk around the house exclaiming, "I love my life!"
To fully explain what it took to rewire that part of myself that would get triggered by his innocent joy, ease, and freedom, I might need to write a book. But I will do my best to bottomline it.
During my upbringing, I learned that if I behaved well, I would be loved and happy. I also learned this from my Mum, my Step Dad, and the world around me.
When I achieved success, I received even more confirmation that working hard would make me feel even more loved and happier.
This belief became even stronger when Mum died and my home life became chaotic. To feel safe, loved, and possibly happy, I put a lot of focus on being impressive at school, sports, and with my friends.
Even now, I still feel uncomfortable when I'm not working hard.
Despite having abundance, beauty, and grace in my life, I feel unconsciously not at ease with having an easy life.
I am still learning to accept that I deserve love, happiness, and abundance just because of who I am, not because of what I do. And my beautiful life isn’t going to be ripped away from me if someone finds out I’m not working hard and pushing myself like crazy every day.
When we stop working and behaving every day from a place of: "I need to work and produce and perform and impress to ensure that I am lovable and worthy of love and happiness"... something completely magical and miraculous happens.
Our true nature can breathe, express, and flourish.
That part of me that doesn't need to be pushed, pressured, and punished into effort shows up. I am free to find what truly motivates me. I naturally find myself diving headfirst into doing what I love and showing up with great energy, enthusiasm, and effervescence.
But we can't make this shift mentally. Well, I couldn't make that shift mentally.
I had to work on the part of myself that would become so easily triggered when Eric would wake up late, be relaxed, and enjoy his life without a care.
Initially, I tried to project my frustration onto him, attempting to make him feel guilty for not being more ambitious and not caring more about our life.
Fortunately, because of how closely we share, study, and grow together, Eric helped me take ownership of and rewire that trigger.
On Thursday, I will guide us through a simple process for acknowledging and rewiring our triggers. This week it will be at 9:30am Pacific Time. More about joining us Thursday here. Recording available next week.
Today, we will also have our Weekly Monday Morning Magic Call at 9:30am Pacific Time. During this call, we will engage in a simple process to receive guidance for our highest good, gain clarity, and find the courage to take our next steps and actions for the week ahead. More about joining us today here.
I am so honored to be sharing about my life, with all of you. And I am so honored to work with my husband Eric. To have him so intimately in my business, my events, and my work.
Eric has also recently started doing 1on1 sessions. The presence he holds is both healing and transformative.
Well that’s it.
More about our awesome new healing space here in Ojai for InPerson events and workshops soon.
We Love You.
Zoe… and Eric… and Fenix xoxoxoxoxo
👋🏼 The Sacred7 Experience Is Coming
Preview the program @ allowinglove.org/sacred7