So we’re diving into a pretty adult topic today. Acceptance.
At first it was super hard for me to accept how different I was, and how tough my life was.
When I was a pup I couldn’t walk properly, or run, or even stand for long periods. And then I was abandoned. And scheduled for euthanasia.
Being a dog, we are just wired to accept and cooperate with what is. And so I just did my best, to accept myself as I am, and to accept my life as it is.
And now…I accept my mission. To coach and help and love as many humans as I possibly can, how to use acceptance and love and compassion…to be their happiest, healthiest selves.
Consider if that you’re NOT moving forward in your life in ways you want to, it’s because of the 3 aspects of acceptance below. My Mum’s gonna help you through it if you like.
But bottomline is… Accept your LIFE. It’s never gonna be fair. It’s gonna feel hard sometimes. Accept your FEELINGS. You’re gonna feel afraid, and sad, and angry sometimes. Accept who YOU ARE. Accept that YOU ARE AWESOME. You’re a super hero. Accept and start to trust that you have everything you need within you to deal with all the 💩 going on around you.
Love 🐾 #YourHappyCoach, Fenixxoo
Acceptance Might Be Your Missing Key for Moving Forward: The Science-Backed Strategy for Courageously Changing Your Life
So we’re going to keep it as simple and succinct as we can today… but we do need to unpack the Science that really helps your mind get on board with putting your heart in charge.
So the key we’re diving deeply into today is Acceptance.
I know. You’ve probably heard about Acceptance. Self-Acceptance. But it is perhaps the least understood Psychological principle and for sure one of the most powerful.    
So we’re going to dive into it through 3 clear perspectives.
- Allowing acceptance for your life just as it is.
- Allowing acceptance for how you feel and fear.
- Allowing, embracing and truly claiming who you are.
So the step by step guide below will walk you through this in greater detail, but here’s the strategy and the heart of how to move forward in your life in ways that matter most to you.
Accept Your Life
There are no coincidences in your life. Your life has been designed perfectly for you. If you can truly get on the page of your life as it is, you’ll see clearly how to move forward towards what you want more of.
But if you can’t accept it, just as it is, it will be hard to cooperate with it so you can grow and change.
No part of your life is against you. No part of your life is off track or broken.
Accept every part of it as a wild and natural design for you to expand into greater Love, Courage and Compassion.
Accept Your Feelings
THIS is where so many people fall down. They might be able to accept that life is hard, and 💩 happens, but they then ignore and deny and supress their emotions. And so mentally they THINK they’re accepting their life, but they are completely disconnected and disassociated with their body, their feelings, their reality of what’s going on.
So please understand that we are all afraid. We are all struggling. And that life is hard.
We all have big feelings and fears about not being able to control our life and know what’s around the corner! That’s scary. And it’s NATURAL and NORMAL. Let yourself accept and feel your feelings and fears and they will release, rather than become stumbling blocks and sources of disconnection.
You wouldn’t have been given the mountains of 💩 in your external life, if you were not also given all the Love, Courage, Power, Compassion and Freakin’ Awesomeness in your internal life: in Who You Are.
You Do GOT THIS.
But you can’t ‘GOT THIS’ until you accept your life as it is, and really accept and allow your feelings and fears as they are.
I know that you KNOW you are capable of ANYTHING IN YOUR WAY. You just need someone to believe in you. To love you. To support you. And to rally behind you.
And so we are here to support and love and be with you. We are your community.
Acceptance / Self-Acceptance References  
 Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of personality and social psychology, 84(4), 822-848.
 Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and identity, 2(2), 85-101.
 Sbarra, D. A., Smith, H. L., & Mehl, M. R. (2012). When leaving your ex, love yourself: Observational ratings of self-compassion predict the course of emotional recovery following marital separation. Psychological science, 23(3), 261-269.
 Gilbert, P., & Irons, C. (2005). Focused therapies and compassionate mind training for shame and self-attacking. In Compassion: Conceptualisations, research and use in psychotherapy (pp. 263-325). Routledge.
Mastering the 3 Aspects of Acceptance: A Step by Step Guide
Use this step-by-step guide to help you learn how to:
- Accept your challenges / osbstacles / life just as it is.
- Accept, allow and transform your feelings and fears.
- Accept, embrace and stand tall in who you are: in your Big, Bold, Brave, Beautiful heart. You have everything you need WITHIN you to keep going, and to move forward.
1. First, Accept your life – Life is 💩 sometimes.
a. What feels hard to accept? Are you willing to call out the adversities in your life that feel or seem hard to accept? The pain? The challenges? The trauma? It is NOT easy to accept that some people had it easy in some ways, and we got it tough! Transforming your life starts with acknowledging that in some ways IT HAS BEEN TOUGH!
b. Write a list of everything that’s been hard to accept in your life.
c. And write a list of what you’re working on accepting about the challenges in your life right now.
2. Accept your feelings - Allow yourself to feel your feelings and fears. They will release, rather than become stumbling blocks and sources of disconnection.
a. Go through each one of the things you wrote in the list in b. above, and have the courage to actually feel them. Feel the anger, the sadness, the unfairness, the confusion… Feel whatever comes up. Life is TOUGH. Life is UNFAIR. But what happens TO US does not define us, or our life. But it’s ok to feel, it’s ok to see and experience it’s been tough!
b. Next go through each one of the things you wrote in the list in b. above, and be curious, open-hearted and open-minded and receive what experiences and inner gifts is that challenge in your life calling you into? What have you learned? What are you learning?
c. And now looking at the challenges you’re facing in your life right now? What ARE YOU being called to learn right now?! If you could summarize it in one or a few words what is it?!
3. Accept who you are - You have everything you need within you to deal with all the challenges going on around you. Accept and start to trust that you are awesome, and that you are a superhero.
a. So now is the time to let go of playing small. I know, we all play small sometimes, but deep down, inside, YOU KNOW YOU ARE AMAZING. You do. So access that part: that Light; that Huge Heart within right now.
b. Just go through the list of your challenges, of the big, tough life lessons you’ve been dealt, AND the big fears and feelings that they have brought up. Great Job! Just keeping our heads above water sometimes is Mission Impossible! So great job!
c. Now…slowing down even further, are you willing to see that you ARE learning and aware embodying the gifts and lessons you are being asked to learn?! Ok maybe you still have a ways to go (don’t we all!?!!!) but it’s important to ACCEPT that you are learning, you ARE growing, you are showing up. Will you let yourself accept that you’re doing an absolutely amazing job dealing with all the 💩 that’s been thrown your way?! And that you are doing YOUR BEST! That’s everything. That’s all we’ve got. Accept YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!
Pro Tip 🏆 Shout it Out!
If you want to stand even taller in how amazing you are… share it, shout it, scream it.
Share it with someone you love. Yes it might be vulnerable and scary. But share what you’re aware of here. If you can!
And if you don’t have anyone in your life to share and shine and shout out how amazing you are – email me. I’m serious. I would be honored to hear about how this process has been for you. Tell me and I’d love to write back and say ‘Great job!’
From Dr. Zoë
My Spiritual Teacher John-Roger taught me that the first spiritual law is Acceptance.
I started learning this 25 years ago and I am STILL learning this one.
It’s tough to accept, when things don’t go our way.
And it’s even tougher to accept when we fall down, and fail, and falter, and when we 'know' we can do better.
We’re not here to be perfect. We’re not robots. We’re humans. And as humans: we are designed to make mistakes. We’re designed to fall down.
The more we accept that, the more we can have compassion and kindness and such heart-felt and authentic support for ourselves when we truly need it.
And then when we can really be kind and loving to ourselves through our disappointments, our failures, and most devastating moments…just watch the miracles and the magic happen!
We find great CLARITY and COURAGE when we meet a shitty moment in life…with Love.
I think that’s why we’ve all fallen in love with Fenix, and every down-trodden rescue dog we’ve ever met. Because we are blown away by this true and inspiring power within dogs, that I would call Unconditional-Loving.
Despite being hurled poop and pain and problems…dogs show up as they are: with Love, and forgiveness and kindness.
And in doing so, they show US who we truly ARE.
We also have that same ability in us, despite what happens to us, we can accept it, feel it, and then accept that we ARE who we ARE. We are Love, we are Courage, and we Got This!
Like all these blog posts, this IS a deeper topic than we can address here. But I’m so grateful that you’re diving in fully with me and Fenix and Eric and this wonderful little community.
Thanks for being here. I hope you’re getting great value and support.
And we are here for any feedback, questions and ideas you have.
Sending you love, Zoë 🤗
Email me anytime oxox.