I'm currently staying with my sister for a couple weeks. Although this video is old, we're hoping to post new ones soon.
Our relationship as siblings hasn't changed much. We adore each other. And we annoy each other.
Can you relate?
No matter how you love and support your family, it's such a beautiful thing to do.
And if you're needing a little help finding love you need to show up for your family, maybe Mum has something for you 👇
Love 🐾 #YourHappyCoach, Fenix xoxoxo
The Best 3 Keys for Better Family Relationships:
Science-Backed Strategies for Surviving Family 🤪
If you pay attention to the below three things, you'll improve your love and closeness with your family.
Trust your instincts and prioritize your own well-being.
We all get annoyed by our family members sometimes.
But when they're on their death bed, you'll be filled with love and tears for them. So it's better to love them now and learn how to enjoy their company.
Many people let family problems break their hearts and create distance between them. Because in my experience, people fail to truly accept that…
Family Relationships Are Not Easy or Comfortable.
And They Take a Lot of Work.
If you invest more energy and intention in your family, you'll get a wonderful return on your investment. But we often didn’t get the skills we needed at home or school, to learn how to do this.
Getting closer to your family members can be challenging, especially when there are past problems and arguments. However, research has shown that the following three keys can help improve family relationships.
Here are some skills in the 3 most important areas that matter:
Most relationship challenges are communication challenges.
• Express your true needs and feelings more often. Talk about small challenges before they become bigger. This one intention can save so much pain and heartache.
• But the real key is listening. Learn how to listen actively and compassionately! When you’re with your family, prioritize listening to truly understand and connect with them. Fenix shares a complete guide for that here: https://allowinglove.org/listen-up/
Studies have shown that forgiveness can lead to reduced stress, improved mental health, and increased feelings of empathy and compassion. It's important to remember that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or excusing hurtful behavior, but rather choosing to let go of negative feelings and resentment.
• Take a moment to be aware if you choose to let whatever you can't forgive, to come between you. Imagine your loved one was on their deathbed. Can you let it go?! If you can. You CAN let it go now.
• Can you find a time in your life where you also did what you can't forgive? Maybe it's in a different context, or it's not as extreme. But we are all human. We all f#*$ up. Can you find compassion and forgiveness for your loved one, because you also need compassion and forgiveness in your life.
Fenix shows us how to forgive here: https://allowinglove.org/boys-do-cry/
3. Quality Time
Research has shown that engaging in activities together, such as shared hobbies or family dinners, can lead to increased feelings of closeness and connection. It's important to make time for each other and prioritize family relationships.
• Authentically show up to engage in something a family member truly loves?! Do it as an experiment and see what happens! Yep you might be more interested in reading, but try watching TV. You might be more into hiking, but it's not going to kill you to go shopping. And you might love dogs, but they have a cat. Show up to authentically connect with them and their passions, and see what happens!
• Prioritize quality time, over quantity time. A 30-minute coffee, without phones, other distractions, and an authentic heart-to-heart conversation can deepen a relationship more than a week long vacation. We're all busy. Focus on quality, not quantity. And also be aware of focusing on quality of time when you feel like someone else doesn't have 'enough' time for you. Focus on quality and not quantity, and you'll be surprised that any amount of time might be enough.
From Dr. Zoë
One of the most important things to remember when dealing with difficult family members is that family relationships are not supposed to be easy.
Instead, they are designed to help us grow in love, compassion, and courage.
I call our family relationships part of our key karmic path.
If you believe in karma – the experiences you are here to learn and grow from – your family relationships create the heart and foundation of these experiences.
Embrace this idea and consider it a challenge to show up for your family and love them unconditionally, like a doctorate in unconditional loving.
Doing so can lead to miracles and stronger relationships, as you realize that everyone is annoying but also incredibly adorable.
It's also important to remember that sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself and your family is to love them from a distance. Trust your heart and intuition when making this decision.
Sending you love,
P.S. Eric and I are still in Hawaii and missing Fenix terribly. We hope to share more sibling clips with you soon.
Need a pick-me up, or want to celebrate a loved one?! I’ll create a private video just for you!
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•50% of proceeds goes to the Rescue that Saved Fenix’ Life 🥲