We Hold the Power to Change and Grow
We each have the ability to free ourselves from the various “hooks” we’ve placed ourselves on over time.
Often, we hold back from living the lives we desire because somewhere along the way, we internalized the false belief that we’re not worthy, not good enough, or not “enough” in some way. These beliefs act like invisible blocks, keeping us from fully embracing and enjoying our lives.
Judgments Lie at the Core of Feeling Unworthy or Inadequate
When you feel like you're “not thin enough,” it often ties back to ingrained beliefs or judgments that say being overweight is undesirable or wrong.
Perhaps you received more love or approval when you lost weight, or maybe a slim body was highly valued in your family.
Likewise, if you feel unsuccessful in your career, it may be connected to a judgment that failing, or not achieving, is shameful or less-than.
Many people have absorbed the harmful belief that success is a must for self-worth, and these judgments often hold us back precisely because they’re hidden or unconscious.
For example, we may feel uneasy in social settings without understanding why, or lack motivation at work without realizing it's linked to self-criticism simmering under the surface.
Forgiveness Frees Us from the Hooks
To break free from what holds us back, we need to practice self-forgiveness.
Forgiveness allows us to let go of the judgments we have about ourselves.
By forgiving ourselves for buying into the idea that it’s wrong to be overweight or lazy, we can begin releasing patterns like procrastination or weight issues.
This process can feel paradoxical. If we want to lose weight, we first need the compassion to accept ourselves, even if we don’t. And if we aim to achieve productivity or success, we need to learn to support ourselves with kindness—even on the days when we fall short.
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Clearing Self-Judgment and Blocks from the Past
If you want to let go of anything you’re doing in this world – forgive yourself for it. Forgive yourself for every time you’ve ever done that pattern. All negative patterns were created as coping mechanisms to protect you at some earlier time – so forgive it and forgive you so you can let it go.
- Choose one thing you have judged yourself for. It can be a pattern like being less patient to a loved one. Or an addiction like smoking. Or something specific that happened recently.
- First, let yourself get all blamey, complainey and judgey. Let yourself just write from the part of you that judges. Let that energy be felt and expressed as you write: It might sound something like: You need to be better. You’re not doing enough…
- Now ask your judgment: how are you trying to serve, help or protect me? Let yourself write. It can be hard to find, but let yourself see that this judgment IS just trying to help you be good, right or lovable.
- Now thank your judgment – but let it know that it’s actually taking your energy, making you feel not great about yourself – and it’s actually counter-intuitive. It might sound something like: Thank you for trying to help / serve / protect me – but you’re actually NOT helping AT ALL. I get now that you’ve been trying to help me, but it’s having the opposite effect. Thanks for your good intention, but it’s time for me to let you go.
- Now forgive yourself using these 3 statements, Say them out-loud ideally: I forgive myself for buying into the misbelief that… …I’m a terrible person for being so impatient. …I’m a loser because I can’t quit smoking. …I’m a bad person for doing… I forgive myself for buying into the lie that… …I’m a bad mother if I’m impatient. …I’m weak and pathetic if I have challenges quitting smoking. …I’m not a good friend if… I forgive myself for judging myself as… …mean. …pathetic. …unlovable.
- And NOW complete with… And the TRUTH is that I am… …doing my best and am actually doing so great given all I’ve got going on!!! …so freakin’ awesome for attempting to quit and I know I’ll get there. …I’m good, and kind and lovable.
