Time to Loosen Up and Let Go
When we get too serious about ourselves and our lives, we tend to obsess over small details and try to control every outcome. This can stifle our growth, limit our ability to adapt, and drain us of energy.
Let’s reflect today on the possibility that releasing our grip on outcomes can actually boost our flexibility, foster progress, and lead to greater success overall!
While it may feel unsettling to loosen the reins, let’s explore why it’s worth it and how we can achieve it.
Are You Stuck in the Control Trap?
When we feel uncertain or insecure, we often tighten our grip in an attempt to control things.
It’s almost instinctive — as if by managing every detail, we can ensure everything works out and that we’ll feel OK.
But ancient wisdom tells us that clinging too tightly actually prevents us from achieving what we truly desire.
The Art of Letting Go: A Lesson from the Ages
For centuries, both Eastern and Western traditions have emphasized the importance of letting go. Yet, with modern society’s increasing focus on money and power, we've lost touch with this crucial teaching.
Letting go isn’t complicated, though. It starts with accepting ourselves fully — learning that our sense of worth doesn’t depend on external outcomes, but on our own self-love and acceptance.
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The Blue Healer, by Dr Zoë & EllieReleasing the Old Wounds
It might seem like a small thing, but let’s take a moment to reflect. Of course, I want my house to be tidy when guests arrive — who wouldn’t?
But my fixation on this goes deeper. After my mom passed when I was 14, I took on the role of keeping the house in order. It became my way of holding things together and proving I was enough. For a long time, it was a painful wound, and I felt embarrassed if my home wasn’t spotless when people came over.
Through unconditional self-love, I’ve learned to tell the younger version of myself, “You’re enough just as you are.” I’ve allowed myself to cry, to grieve, and in my mind’s eye, I’ve cradled that version of me in loving arms. That little girl deserved to know she was lovable no matter what. And I keep reminding her of that.
Dogs are great teachers in this — they don’t judge themselves or others for messes or for not being "enough." And they certainly don’t hold it against you!
I love you.
Zoë
A Sacred Freedom Workout 💪
Let’s Let Go of 1 Massive Energy Suck Today.
- Ok it’s Saturday. So choose the biggest thing you feel serious or stuck or like you need to control today: the one thing that’s gonna drain your fun and freedom today? It could be getting everyone to soccer on time. Or cleaning the house in time for visitors. It could seem small and subtle. Whatever it is. Write it down.
- Feel the tight energy, the control, the seriousness you have about this one thing. What does that energy feel like? Do you like it? Does it give you energy, or take energy away?
- Consider now, that you’re tight and controlling because you want everything to go OK…SO that you’ll be enough and lovable. It can be super subtle. But our lack of inherent lovability is at the heart of every contraction in our life. Can you see it?
- So now it’s easy. Just bravely, courageously, LOVE YOURSELF despite the outcome you want?! (Remember that letting go will actually HELP you get what you want. It’s counter-intuitive. Completely.) If you need some help, use this phrase (say this to yourself, in the mirror): “I love you, no matter what and even if you’re late to soccer. I love you, no matter what and even if the house is a mess when your visitors arrive.”
- Stuck?!?! Many of my clients get super stuck with this. They find it hard to agree that it should be ok to love themselves when they’re not living the outcomes they want. So try this, if you’re also feeling a little stuck. Would you love your best friend just as much, if she got her family to soccer a late, or would you start loving her less and want to punish her? Would you love anyone less if their house were a mess? Would you judge and punish them the way you do to yourself?
- Again… if you can LET GO of the CONTROL you’ll have a better chance of getting to soccer on time, and cleaning the house. This isn’t about letting go of living and doing and being awesome. It’s LETTING GO of the CONTROL!
- This is actually deep, unconscious rewiring. It can take time. So be patient, kind and loving.
