The Proven Power of Self-Kindness 🫶

Everyone feels inadequate at times, but how we respond can change everything. Instead of self-criticism, try kindness and compassion—it’s more powerful than you think. Treat yourself with the same love and care you’d give to someone you cherish, and watch how quickly you begin to heal and grow.
The Proven Power of Self-Kindness 🫶

We all feel small, not enough, broken and useless sometimes.

Yep everyone.

So many of us think that pushing, pressuring and even punishing ourselves when we are on the floor and feeling terrible… is  the way to do more, to do better.

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But psychologically we know that doesn’t work.

What works is softness, kindness, loving and compassion.

It feels counter-intuitive, but just try it. See if it works for you.

The next time you feel not-enough, or like a failure… let yourself treat yourself like you would treat your child, or like Fenix… if they came into the room feeling bad about themselves and feeling really down.

Trust Science.

If you treat YOURSELF with the same sweetness, softness and kindness that you deserve in moments of ‘failure’ or whenever you feel anything less than a HUGE WHOPPING SUCCESS… you’ll get back up faster, with more energy, more belief, and confidence and courage than ever.

We all need Love, Softness and Compassion. And YOU’RE the one to give it to you. Ok let’s dive deep with today’s guide.

A Self-Compassion Workout ❤️‍🔥

Inspired by the ‘Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself’

This strategy is inspired by Dr Kristin Neff’s book and her extensive research on Self-Compassion.

  1. Identify the Failure: Reflect on a specific failure or mistake that has made you feel inadequate or disappointed. It can be recent. Or very old. Anything that feels NOT like success.
  2. Acknowledge Feelings: Acknowledge the emotions that arise from this failure - whether it's frustration, embarrassment, regret, or self-criticism.
  3. Embrace Emotional Honesty: Allow yourself to be emotionally honest without judgment. Feel the emotions fully, recognizing them as a natural response to failure. You’re human. It’s understandable to feel that way. Allow that to be ok.
  4. Imagine a Supportive Figure: Visualize a supportive figure in your mind who embodies understanding, empathy, and encouragement. Make them the best friend you could ever imagine. Give them special powers if you choose. But remember their number 1 power is that they love you unconditionally. They love you more than you could possibly imagine.
  5. Compassionate Viewpoint: Consider how this supportive figure perceives you, emphasizing your efforts and resilience in the face of failure. Just let yourself consider it’s possible to feel this way about YOU.
  6. Compose a Letter: Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of this supportive figure, focusing on the failure that has impacted you. Let the unconditional understanding and compassion that this supportive figure has towards you, acknowledging that your mistakes are part of the human experience, and perhaps will have great value for you later in life. Fill the letter with warmth, kindness, and a profound desire for you to be happy and fulfilled.
  7. Wait a week or more: Set the letter aside for a while after writing it.
  8. Read it and Receive it: Return to it later, reread it, and allow the compassionate words to resonate within you. Receive this profound loving support and let it completely reframe this ‘failure’ and part of your life as much as possible ❤️‍🔥
About the author
Dr. Zoë & Fenix

Dr. Zoë & Fenix

The ultimate happy coaching combo. Fenix supports humans be their best selves and beyond. Dr. Zoë adds a little science and strategy.

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