Understanding Perfectionism
Perfectionism is often misunderstood as a positive trait, synonymous with high standards and excellence. However, perfectionism is essentially a form of armor we use to shield ourselves from judgment and criticism.
We strive so hard to be perfect, because we feel that then, and ONLY then, can we feel safe and free of being judged, hurt, and unloved.
If We’re Perfect, We Can Avoid All Hurt and Pain
Perfectionism, as described by Dr. Brené Brown, is a protective mechanism we use to shield ourselves from judgment and shame. She explains that it acts like a "20-ton shield," representing the belief that if we appear perfect in our actions and lives, we can avoid criticism and blame. This mindset often masks deeper vulnerabilities related to self-worth and acceptance.
While people may casually acknowledge perfectionistic traits as signs of competence, admitting to feelings of shame is more difficult. Ultimately, perfectionism creates an emotional burden, making it exhausting and unfulfilling.
Recognizing and acknowledging the areas where we want to feel and be perfect, can help us embrace greater vulnerability in that area of our life, and use self-compassion as a way back to living more authentically and whole-heartedly.
Your Rewiring Beliefs Workout 💪
Releasing Perfectionism with Self-Compassion and Kindness
Use the basic rewiring process, to help you release aspects of perfectionism in your life, and return you back to greater health and happiness.
Greater details for this process is in the dashboard, access below.
R – Relax your body, let go of the world outside of you, and breathe.
As you let go of the world outside of you, embrace and experience the world within you. [1]
Ask to be filled with the Highest Good, the Highest Light, the Highest Love. [2]
E – Embrace an area of your life, where you strive to be perfect.
Accept that you find it tough sometimes, to make mistakes, and be imperfect in this area of your life. [3]
Let yourself have compassion for how tough and heavy it can feel, always wanting and striving to be perfect in this area. [4]
W – Write down what your ‘Perfectionism’ is saying.
Ask that part within you that wants to be perfect – ask it to share whatever it’s afraid of. Ask it to complete the sentence: If I’m not perfect in this area of my life, I am afraid… [5]
Let it write why it’s so important to be perfect. Write until you feel like it has nothing left to say. [6]
I – Be curious and compassionate towards yourself.
With great curiosity, and so much self-compassion, allow yourself to just wonder why this area has become just a heavy experience for you? [7]
What experiences in childhood contributed to you ‘needing to be perfect’? Let yourself feel great compassion for the Little You that is still striving to be perfect. [8]
R – Rewire and Reframe all connected beliefs
Say and feel, as many times as you need to: “I forgive myself for buying into the misbelief that I need to be perfect in order to be loved. I forgive myself for buying into the misbelief that I won’t be loved unless I’m perfect. I forgive myself for buying into the misbelief that noone will love me if I fail, or makes mistakes, or am flawed.” [9]
Keep saying and completing these sentences until you feel still and silent inside. You might also want to use a different phrase, or words, that works best for you.
E – Experience the truth
Say: “AND The truth is that I am completely lovable, just as I am. And the truth is that I am perfectly imperfect. And the truth is that I am made perfectly, just as I am.“ [10]
Keep completing your truth until you feel Whole, Healthy and overflowing with Love.
