Sometimes we all feel small, inadequate, broken, and worthless.
Everyone goes through it.
Many of us believe that when we're feeling down, the best way forward is to push ourselves harder, to criticize and pressure ourselves into doing more and being better.
But here's the truth: psychologically, that doesn't work.
What actually helps is gentleness, kindness, love, and compassion.
It may seem like the opposite of what you should do, but give it a try.
The next time you feel like you're not enough, or like you've failed, treat yourself the way you'd treat a loved one—like you would treat Fenix—if they came to you feeling low and defeated.
Trust the science.
When you offer yourself the same softness, care, and kindness that you truly deserve, especially during moments of perceived failure or when you feel less than successful, you'll bounce back faster. You'll rise with more energy, belief, confidence, and courage than ever before.
We all need love, softness, and compassion—and it's up to you to give that to yourself. Now, let’s dive into today’s guide.
A Self-Compassion Workout ❤️🔥
Inspired by the ‘Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself’
This strategy is inspired by Dr Kristin Neff’s book and her extensive research on Self-Compassion.
This simple guide will support you in rewiring misperception of ‘failure’, to the greater truth and reality of how we grow as humans.
- Identify the Failure: Reflect on a specific failure or mistake that has made you feel inadequate or disappointed. It can be recent. Or very old. Anything that feels NOT like success.
- Acknowledge Feelings: Acknowledge the emotions that arise from this failure - whether it's frustration, embarrassment, regret, or self-criticism.
- Embrace Emotional Honesty: Allow yourself to be emotionally honest without judgment. Feel the emotions fully, recognizing them as a natural response to failure. You’re human. It’s understandable to feel that way. Allow that to be ok.
- Imagine a Supportive Figure: Visualize a supportive figure in your mind who embodies understanding, empathy, and encouragement. Make them the best friend you could ever imagine. Give them special powers if you choose. But remember their number 1 power is that they love you unconditionally. They love you more than you could possibly imagine.
- Compassionate Viewpoint: Consider how this supportive figure perceives you, emphasizing your efforts and resilience in the face of failure. Just let yourself consider it’s possible to feel this way about YOU.
- Compose a Letter: Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of this supportive figure, focusing on the failure that has impacted you. Let the unconditional understanding and compassion that this supportive figure has towards you, acknowledging that your mistakes are part of the human experience, and perhaps will have great value for you later in life. Fill the letter with warmth, kindness, and a profound desire for you to be happy and fulfilled.
- Wait a week or more: Set the letter aside for a while after writing it.
- Read it and Receive it: Return to it later, reread it, and allow the compassionate words to resonate within you. Receive this profound loving support and let it completely reframe this ‘failure’ and part of your life as much as possible ❤️🔥
