I've been giving myself time and space off, but I thought I had given my assistant details for sending out today's email already, but I had not.
So rather, I find myself sitting down right now, wanting to send something, and I realize that it was this time last week, that we were driving to the Vet to hug and kiss Ellie for the final time 😭
Healing, Grieving & Rewiring take Time
I think we all know that.
But what's the most challenging is being able to trust our own timing.
And that our timing will never look exactly like another's.
It's trusting when and how we feel down.
And it's trusting and allowing when and how we feel UP, Awesome & OK! 👍
Here's Fenix to remind us to let our joy shine, and be shared 🥰
Even when we're grieving, we'll have moments of great beauty and joy, and while it can be hard, it's important to feel and share the Up, as much as the Down.
I have created a simple trusting your grief workout below.
Use it whenever and however you choose.
There are no words that will ever convey the specialness of the bond and time I had with Ellie.
We shared 2 months and 2 days together. She was always with me, except when she was napping and I was with her, watching her on baby cam.
Because of all she'd been through, it was important to me to not allow her to feel abandoned yet again. So when she was 3, 4 and 5 months old, and almost 6 months old... I didn't leave her. This was inspired mostly by the sage advice I received from Carol from Soul2SoulDog. Carol told me that dogs in the wild, are never alone until they are about 9 or 10 months old. Their mother, or other elders in the pack, will not leave a pup alone, until 9 or 10 months old. And I do know that I could do this, because my heart just knew it was what Ellie needed. And now that she is no longer here, I am so glad that I was able to give her such safety, love and belonging, in the very short time she was here. She got to know the miracle of family.
I may or may not keep sharing about my time with Ellie publicly, but I did want to share one transformational experience with her, 3 days after she passed. [I am in more pain and grief than I anticipated. And so I'm just taking each moment as it comes. Giving myself freedom NOT to share about her. And freedom to write and share and express with you all too, if that feels supportive to me, and to Ellie 🥹 ]
Read My Chat with Ellie • Video on Instagram
Trusting Your Grief Workout 💪
R – Relax your body, let go of the world outside of you, and breathe.
As you let go of the world outside of you, embrace and experience the world within you.
Ask to be filled with the Highest Good, the Highest Light, the Highest Love.
E – Embrace whatever in your life you're still called to grieve.
It could be a romantic relationship, a death, an abusive experience, a disappointment.
Just trust whatever challenge in your life still feels unresolved, and not yet like it's just a wonderful gift you can be grateful for.
W – Write down whatever's present.
Let yourself write. Freely. Fully. Vulnerable.
Let it shift and change.
You might start writing from an angry place, and find you move into giving your sadness and hopelessness a voice.
You might start in gratitude and saying thank you, and find it evolves into deep forgiveness and compassion.
Just write.
Write whatever is present within you, as you deeply connect with the experience you chose above.
I – Inquire. Compassionately inquire about this adventure.
Now get completely outside of your usual thoughts, feeling and life.
Can you imagine being a stranger, who's observing you in your grief.
Just kindly and curiously be aware of how you feel towards 'you'.
Can you authentically inquire as to if your experience is understandable, and valid, and worthwhile?!
Compassionately inquire as to what gifts and sacred muscles you might be growing into through this experience?!
R – Rewire with Love.
Say and feel:
I forgive myself for ever judging, or being cruel or unkind to myself, because of how I feel, heal and grieve.
I forgive myself for judging absolutely any part of my involvement with (your situation above).
I forgive myself for forgetting that I am always doing my best.
I forgive myself for forgetting I am worthy of unconditional love, and so no matter what I did, or didn't do, I am loving myself fully right now.
E – And then Claim the truth.
Say and experience:
AND the truth about (your situation above) is that I am growing perfectly, in perfect timing, and in perfect ways.
And the truth is that I am rewiring back to Love.
The truth is that I am Love.
