Wednesdays are usually about Community, Connection and Support.
So today we honor Ellie, and how she brought us closer, and created so much community and support in my life.
😩 there is no easy, or right way to say this. We let Ellie cross that rainbow bridge yesterday afternoon 😭
Ellie got her MRI yesterday morning, and this was the neuro/vet’s summary:
Ellie has severe hydrocephalus. She has spinal fluid filling the brain cavity and pushing in on her brain. This is the reason for changes in her behavior and loss of eyesight. This, unfortunately, cannot be repaired and likely causes her an extreme amount of pain. For Ellie this would also cause a level of fear as animals are both predator and prey. She likely feels fear that she is debilitating and, to her mind, becoming risk as prey. Physically and mentally she is declining and her pain and fear will continue to increase rapidly.
We queried about having a stent put in? But given the extent of her brain damage and the fact it is progressing so quickly, we assessed it would only mean more pain and fear for Ellie, having to go through not just one brain surgery, but perhaps multiple. Because her hydrocephalus is from every area around the brain, the entire cavity was filled. To put in a stent means that the stents would have to be monitored and potentially replaced throughout her life. This won’t stop the flow of spinal fluid that causes it. It will, in essence, simply redirect it.
It was so clear to the team (me, my husband, Nicky & Regina from SPARC) that the most loving thing for her was to be humanely euthanized.
So Eric and I brought her favorite toys and snacks in, and I held her in my arms, while she crossed the rainbow bridge and started to run, jump, play and be free… finally.
I’m devastated. I might need a break. And I might be sharing a LOT about it soon as my way to process and heal. I’m taking it moment by moment.
But I wanted to let you know – as you have ALL done so much for her, and I want you each to know she appreciates it all so much. She knew love. She knew miracles. She knew she was a healer. Not just a blue heeler. A healer.
Fenix hasn’t left my side
We took him to the beach after saying goodbye to Ellie.
He hasn’t left my side. He is doing great.
Your Workout Today 💪
We thought we had more time. We did NOT know when we dropped Ellie off at VMSG this morning that it might be our last day with her. We should have guessed that, in retrospect, but we were planning flights and next steps for getting her out to Ohio. (And I will be sharing about Michael soon - Ellie’s Ohio Dad… )
We’re all guilty of it, every day. We’re human. It’s natural.
But just decide how you’ll cherish and treat your loved ones today, like it’s your last day together.
Don’t take them for granted. Hug them. Kiss them. Walk them. Tell them you love them.
We Love You… More than you’ll ever know.
Fenix and Zoe xo.
