Cheers to Love 🥂

Releasing Pain in Relationships 🧡

Letting go of judgments in our connections—and within ourselves.

We Hurt Because We Judge
It might sound overly simple or reductive, but at the core of every pain or struggle lies a judgment.
If freedom and happiness are what we seek—think of being as carefree as Fenix, for instance—we’re invited to embrace and embody unconditional love.

Our journey, then, is straightforward: uncover the conditions we’ve attached to being lovable and let them go.
Or just get into a relationship—it’ll expose those conditions faster than anything else! 🤣

Free Yourself by Releasing Judgments

The profound beauty of releasing judgments about others is that it doesn’t just free them—it frees you. Your energy, your joy, your life.

When we judge someone else, we’re often projecting something we also judge within ourselves. These judgments act like invisible chains, holding us back from the life we long for.

A Personal Story

For years, I judged my husband as lazy—and wow, did it frustrate me!
When he’d sleep in for two hours after I’d already started my day, I’d feel agitated.
When he wasn’t stressed or grinding away, I’d feel annoyed.

Here’s the thing: growing up, I internalized a deep belief that “you’re only lovable if you work hard and behave well.” In my mind, being lazy was bad, and not working hard meant you didn’t deserve love.

So when my husband took it easy, it triggered something deep inside me. I didn’t just want him to work harder—I resented him because I secretly wished I could stop working so hard too. I felt stuck in this unconscious cycle of always striving, because I thought that’s how love was earned.

It took time (and a lot of reflection), but I’ve been able to rewire this belief. I’ve learned to release the judgment that “not working hard is wrong.” Slowly but surely, I’ve come to understand that I am lovable whether I’m hustling or relaxing.

And guess what? It’s been life-changing. My husband’s relaxed approach to life became a gift—it showed me where I was holding myself back.

Now, I can give myself permission to not always be working hard. I can relax. I can enjoy life. And that’s an incredible freedom.

Thank you, judgments, for being the doorway to healing. 🤣
Love you!
Zoë

A Sacred Rewiring Workout

Releasing Judgments in Relationships, and Ourselves

1. Who’s the person in your life that’s most challenging?
2. How do you judge them?! It can be subtle, but answer these questions to find your judgments:
   1. What do they do wrong, or sometimes feels wrong?
   2. What are they bad at, or it feels bad to you?
   3. What should they be doing differently?
   4. What’s not ok, about who, or how they are sometimes?
3. Define the judgment as a condition. Find the condition against lovability.
   1. It’s wrong to be selfish. Judgment = Selfish
   2. It’s bad to be late all the time. Judgment = Tardy, Disorganized
   3. They should be kinder and more thoughtful. Judgment = Careless, Thoughtless
   4. It’s not ok to shout and yell. Judgment = Cruel
4. Let go of this condition making you unLovable. Let go of this judgment. Be open to the truth that you ARE Lovable even if you express this condition. [Important: Letting go of the judgment of Cruel is not saying I WANT to be cruel, or I condone being cruel in anyway. It’s simply accepting that cruelty happens sometimes, and I’m not going to withdraw my love because of it. Read this if you’d like to unpack releasing judgment further.]
5. Forgive yourself for various moments when you have expressed this condition. Keep saying or writing the statement until you feel still and silent.
   1. I forgive myself for judging myself as selfish… when I didn’t stay at home and help my Mum when she was sick… etc
   2. I forgive myself for judging myself as bad and an absolute mess… for never making it to clarinet practice on time… etc
   3. I forgive myself for judging myself as careless… when I crashed Dad’s car… etc
   4. I forgive myself for judging myself as cruel… when I was a little bit bitchy to my Mother in Law… etc
6. Claim your truth.
   1. And the truth is that I am lovable, even if I’m selfish sometimes.
   2. And the truth is that I am lovable, even if I’m late sometimes.
   3. And the truth is that I am lovable, even if I’m careless sometimes.
   4. And the truth is that I am lovable, even if I’m cruel sometimes.