Chasing Life’s Fire 🧡

The Hidden Root of Our Pain

At the core of every hurt in relationships—every moment of frustration, disappointment, or anger—there is a judgment. It might not seem that simple, but when we strip everything back, our pain often stems from the conditions we place on love.

Free Yourself, Free Your Life

When we release our judgments about others, something incredible happens: we also set ourselves free. Those judgments don’t just keep others bound in our expectations; they keep us trapped in limiting beliefs, preventing us from experiencing true peace and joy.

What we judge in others is often a reflection of what we secretly judge in ourselves. And those judgments? They’re the very chains keeping us from the love and life we desire.

The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way.

ECKHART TOLLE

A Personal Wake-Up Call

For years, I judged my husband for being “lazy.”

• If he slept in while I was already up working? Annoying.
• If he didn’t seem stressed about work? Frustrating.

I grew up believing that love had to be earned through hard work and constant effort. Resting? Slowing down? That meant being unworthy.

The reason my husband’s ease triggered me so deeply was because, deep down, I craved that same freedom. But my own judgment kept me stuck, making me feel like I had to keep pushing to be lovable.

When I finally unraveled that belief—when I let go of the idea that I was only worthy if I was always “doing”—everything changed. I found permission to be. To slow down. To love myself, even in stillness.

And for that, I’m grateful. Even if the journey involved a lot of frustration along the way 🤣.

Love Without Conditions

Our evolution is simple: identify the conditions we’ve placed on love—both for ourselves and others—and let them go.

Or, get into a relationship... because nothing will reveal those conditions faster 🤣.

With love,
Zoë