Of course boys cry. We all cry! And if we wanna be happy and healthy... we need to allow ourselves to cry more 🥹
If only we were taught at home, in school, in the media, that it's healthy and important to feel and express how we're feeling.
We'd prance around like Fenix if we did.
Fenix' PepTalk 🐾
You deserve to be loved, for exactly who you are. You deserve to be loved, for however you feel. You deserve to be loved.
PepWalk 🐾Did you grow up hearing phrases like "Boys don't cry" and "Good girls are always sweet"? Research has shown that we are all conditioned not to feel and express our emotions in healthy ways during childhood. Brené Brown discusses this issue in a 30-second video [1].
Learning to Feel: The Science-Backed Strategy for Health & Happiness
Relational Neuroscience has shown that repressed emotions create faulty wiring in our neural pathways, leading to behaviors that hold us back from connection, authenticity, and joy. [2]. Learning to express your emotions and needs can help rewire these pathways, and it's simpler than you may think.
To start, when you're experiencing an emotional moment, try moving from your head into your body. What do you feel physically? Accept and embrace your feelings, and let the energy out a little by expressing how you feel. Finally, drop into compassion for yourself and acknowledge that life can be hard sometimes.
Research has shown that criticism and fault-finding hinder positive change in your life. If you want to grow and change, you need to have compassion for yourself [3] [4] [5]. Recognize that life can be tough, and be kind to yourself. You're doing your best, so don't beat yourself up when things don't go well. Instead, try finding kindness and softness to help you let go of what's not working.
References [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]
[1] Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. Penguin.
[2] Cozolino, L. (2017). The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Healing the Social Brain (3rd ed.). W. W. Norton & Company.
[3] Gilbert, P., Catarino, F., Duarte, C., Matos, M., Kolts, R., Stubbs, J., Ceresatto, L., Duarte, J., Pinto-Gouveia, J., & Basran, J. (n.d.). The development of compassionate engagement and action scales for self and others. Journal of Compassionate Health Care, 4(1), 4. https://jcompassionatehc.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40639-017-0033-3
[4] Kris, D. F. (n.d.). How Self-Compassion Supports Academic Motivation and Emotional Wellness. KQED. Retrieved from https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52854/how-self-compassion-supports-academic-motivation-and-emotional-wellness
[5] Riopel, L., & Nash, J. (2019, June 2). 15 Most Interesting Self-Compassion Research Findings. Positive Psychology. Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/self-compassion-research/#research
