Authentic Sadness 😔
In a world that's all about chasing happiness, it's easy to overlook the important role that sadness plays in our personal growth and well-being.
Sadness isn't just a downer; it actually helps us in some pretty cool ways. It gives us a chance to recharge by reflecting on things, helps us connect with others on a deeper level, makes our memories stronger, and even sparks our creativity.
With all the messages telling us to be happy all the time, it can be tough to make space for our sad feelings. But here's the kicker: embracing our sadness can actually unlock the door to a happier life overall. By accepting and working through our sad moments, we can build up our resilience, understand ourselves better, and open ourselves up to more joy and fulfillment in the long run. So, don't be afraid to let yourself feel those feels!
This Buddhist Nun Knows Best.
Beloved Buddhist nun, teacher & author, Pema Chödrön shares about the interconnectedness of joy and pain, just as summer and winter and critically and eternally connected.
If we relate to our moments of sadness, more like winter: a time for shedding and resting, we will find it passes in ease and grace. Sadness is just a moment of falling apart in some beautiful and natural way.
The more acceptance and compassion we can have for the seasons and ups and downs of our life, the more we begin to experience the Love, the beauty, the awe and the grace of it all.
We Need to Normalize Sadness, Says Science
In today's culture, sadness is being seen as more and more abnormal and treated like a medical condition. We really should make sadness more normal if we want to deal with it effectively.
One idea is to change how we think about sadness. We need to encourage people to express their sadness more openly in everyday conversations. This would help remove the stigma around sadness and show how it can actually help us grow stronger after tough times, and be more resilient overall. [1]
The profound value for doing this, is that when we allow ourselves to be seen, heard and loved in our tougher, sadder moments:
we feel less alone and ashamed, and we grow in connection and community.
Your Sacred Muscles Workout 💪 Making Space for Sadness
Our workout today is inspired by Onojighofia Tobore’s suggestions for normalizing every day greetings that make space and inclusion for sadness.
- If you were having a tough time, and someone asks you ‘How Are You?’ – How do you usually respond in the following contexts. Write down your answers.
- At work
- In the grocery store with a stranger
- With your family
- With your closest friends
- With your partner
- Now just be aware, if your dog was to ask you ‘How Are You’? on one of your toughest days – How would you respond to your dog? Write down your answer.
- Be brave. Heartstorm (like brainstorming accept you do this from your loving heart, not your critical brain) more vulnerable and authentic responses you can use when you ARE sad and having a tough time. Write them down and just be aware they are options. Don’t force or make you do anything. But just remind yourself that if you do more authentically express your sadness you’ll be less likely to feel alone and ashamed, and more likely to grow with greater connection and community.
- At work
- In the grocery store with a stranger
- With your family
- With your closest friends
- With your partner
Upgrade for the References used in this article, some personal comments from Dr Zoë about her own experience of sadness, and an Advanced Reading: “The Healing Bridge of Loving”.
