How to Be Loved 💛

When we're not accepted as we are, we learn to suppress our needs and feelings, believing them to be unacceptable and unlovable. In an effort to be liked and loved, we hide these parts of ourselves from others.
How to Be Loved 💛

When We’re Not Accepted As We Are

When we don’t get a clear and complete message when we are children: that our needs are ok (even the messy, inconvenient ones) and that our feelings are ok (even the messy, uncomfortable ones)… we learn to suppress our needs and our feelings.

We learn that our needs and our feelings are unacceptable: unlovable.

And so in order to be liked and loved, we learn NOT to show our needs and our feelings to others.

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Hiding Our Needs and Feelings Makes us Highly Likable

We become people-pleasers, chameleons, able to be whatever others want us to be.

And that does make us likable. But it’s very hard for others to LOVE us, because they don’t really KNOW us.

We can like anyone. But we only really LOVE those people that we can get to KNOW intimately.

If You Want More Connection, Stop Hiding

It’s a long and challenging journey from living the inauthentic ways that helped us survive when we were younger – to finding the courage and compassion we need to start to reveal more of who we really are to the world.

Be kind to yourself on this journey.

Move slowly, in small and gradual steps.

Today’s guide endeavors to help you in baring more of our authentic vulnerable self with the world, in service to much greater and more intimate connection with others.

A Sacred Healing Workout ❤️‍🩹 Acknowledging Our Needs and Feelings

If you’re unpacking deep and old trauma there’s a good chance you might need some professional support to establish some foundational trust within. I am available for sessions. And there are amazing qualified professionals all over the world 🌎

And… diving deeply into your own Self-Healing will support this process profoundly.

  1. What needs of yours were NOT received well when you were younger?
  2. How can you share 3% - 7% more of your needs with trusted people in your world? Heartstorm just a few ways you can share more authentically and vulnerably.
  3. How can you share 30% - 70% more of your needs with YOURSELF? Can you keep a journal, or have some other way of acknowledging your own needs at least to yourself?
  4. What feelings of yours were NOT heard and honored well when you were younger?
  5. How can you share 3% - 7% more of your feelings with trusted people in your world? Heartstorm just a few ways you can share more authentically and vulnerably.
  6. How can you share 30% - 70% more of your feelings with YOURSELF? Can you keep a journal, or have some other way of vulnerably feelings and expressing your emotions at least with yourself?!

This is not easy stuff. This is not for the faint of heart. And remember if you need to talk to a human being - there are many FREE helplines available to ANYONE ANY TIME. https://findahelpline.com/

About the author
Dr. Zoë & Fenix

Dr. Zoë & Fenix

The ultimate happy coaching combo. Fenix supports humans be their best selves and beyond. Dr. Zoë adds a little science and strategy.

Love YourSelf...Love Your Life

Transformational Life Coaching grounded in Spiritual Psychology & Relational Neuroscience

Love YourSelf, Love Your Life.

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